Ralpharama Archive. The archive is almost 20 years old, this website is no longer maintained.
Writings of Ralpharama
Most of my recent writing is here now: ralpharama.co.uk/oArticle 1995
Hits 2993 | Last Modified 2007-05-31All about 1995
Hits 3113 | Last Modified 2007-05-31All about 1996
Hits 2764 | Last Modified 2007-05-31All about 1999.
Hits 2703 | Last Modified 2007-05-31All about the year 2000
Hits 4088 | Last Modified 2007-05-31All about 2002.
Hits 2977 | Last Modified 2007-05-31All about 2003
Article A farewell to tobacco
Hits 3905 | Last Modified 2007-05-31I have what would be described as a love-hate relationship with tobacco.
Article A Mound of White Bones
Hits 2658 | Last Modified 2007-05-31Over the purple mountains to the east lies a forest where nobody ever goes. Nobody goes to the forest not because of wild creatures or monsters, but simply because no one knows that it is there. Except for an old, eccentric man and his young son, and even he found it by accident.
Hits 2312 | Last Modified 2007-05-31Written in Mexico during insanity-inducing boredom
Article Back Street Bar
Hits 5243 | Last Modified 2007-05-31So I sat, alone, at the end of the bar, staring across the room to where some Canadians were laughing, screaming, and generally flirting with the off-duty strippers.
Article Festival Montreal en Lumiere
Hits 4580 | Last Modified 2007-05-31An old article from some years ago I just found about a (cold) festival in Montreal.
Article Fpa 1
Hits 3357 | Last Modified 2007-05-31Flight.
Article Fpa 2
Hits 2790 | Last Modified 2007-05-31Belgian Hitch
Article Fpa 3
Hits 5404 | Last Modified 2007-05-31Wanderlust Born
Article Fpa 4
Hits 3021 | Last Modified 2007-05-31Used and refused
Article Fpa 5
Hits 2938 | Last Modified 2007-05-31Dusseldorf: Arrivals
Article Fpa 6
Hits 3253 | Last Modified 2007-05-31Mr X
Article Fpa 7
Hits 2766 | Last Modified 2007-05-31Dusseldorf: Gifts
Article Fpa 8
Hits 3899 | Last Modified 2007-05-31Dusseldorf: Enchantress
Article Fpa 9
Hits 3318 | Last Modified 2007-05-31Dusseldorf: Escape
Article Fpa prologue
Hits 2744 | Last Modified 2007-05-31A novel I was writing some years ago. Whilst is is based on some real events, it should be read as fiction...
Article FPA Screenplay
Hits 3137 | Last Modified 2007-05-31A forgotten screenplay for a book that was never finished. it was too complex for a first book, I think.
Article Grubs whores and landmines
Hits 6451 | Last Modified 2007-05-31About an hour inside Cambodia we stopped at a roadside establishment that had been spawned simply to service tourists en route to Siem Reap from the border. The staff inside happily accepted any currency and provided change in tattered Cambodian Reals, which resulted in a lot of confused looking tourists - Reals are worth about 3,900 to the US dollar, so even if people wanted to check their change, they had a hard time because most of them had handed over Thai baht in the first place. After a few weeks in Cambodia, you either become an expert in tri-currency conversion, or lose a lot of cash.
Article Half-man, half-biscuit
Hits 9674 | Last Modified 2007-05-31One of the most popular types of monster throughout history has been the half-man, half-something-else. A good examples of a scary half-men creatures are the werewolf (half-man, half-wolf), minotaur (half-man, half bull) and zombie. Zombie? I hear you cry. Yes - half-man, half-dead. On the whole it seems like taking half of a man away and adding half of something else creates an evil entity, bent on death and destruction. There are notable exceptions though, which I'll talk about in a moment.
Hits 4603 | Last Modified 2007-05-31Writing things down in a little book could be a dying art...
Article Little archaeologist story
Hits 4197 | Last Modified 2007-05-31A short story written for a java game I wrote some years ago.
Article Memories between 4 and 6
Hits 2017 | Last Modified 2007-05-31My very first memory in life is a lie. I'm about 3 years old and we've just arrived at my Grandmother's house, it is sunny and I'm wearing shorts and a striped T-shirt. My Grandmother is waiting on her lawn to meet us with our dog - a large Irish Setter called Finbar. Finbar is excited to see us and runs over to us, almost knocking me over, then licking my face with joy.
Hits 5793 | Last Modified 2007-05-31I'm not terribly scared of electrical storms, I was never traumatised as a child by stories of giants in the clouds being angry, or any other such nonsense. During thunder and lightning I like to go outside, to the top of the nearest hill and watch the show. I don't think being hit is very likely.
Hits 2473 | Last Modified 2007-05-31A random story I found on my hard drive recently, it was prefixed with: "I lived in Montreal for a couple of years a while ago. Nice place, distinct lack of crime and any rough edges"
Hits 3127 | Last Modified 2007-05-31An article about sleep that I wrote, re-found recently on my hard-drive.
Article Suzy's Bar, Takasaki
Hits 23957 | Last Modified 2007-05-31Ah, the memories. This was a bar in Takasaki, where I used to drink in 1996/1997.
Article The Bus Game
Hits 4959 | Last Modified 2007-05-31Unsure when, or why, this was written
Article The Crooked Penny Inn
Hits 3182 | Last Modified 2007-05-31The candles burned low in the Crooked Penny Inn. The four figures huddled around a beer stained table concentrated upon the tiles in front of them. The game was known as Lucky Mary in these parts and many a man had lost a fortune on the turn of a not so lucky tile. Halgar Blacktooth frowned deeply as he looked again at the images of the four winds from the east in his hand, this was a good hand, but his final tile, the six of goblins which he had just picked up, didn't help at all.
Blog The George
Hits 2634 | Last Modified 2007-05-31So we're walking through the streets in the rain. I'm upset already as we spent a valuable 30 minutes of drinking time watching some god-awful move-to-spain-and-fix-up-an-old-house programme. The rain really doesn't improve our moods as we splash through puddles and scowl into the wind.
Article The Hilton Hotel, In East Croydon, England
Hits 4663 | Last Modified 2007-05-31My idea was to return to the hotel and sip a Martini and smoke a cigarette before retiring. I was dismayed to find that there was a large Xmas party occurring, and so the bar was rather busy, the staff looked harassed.
Article The Quest for Hashish
Hits 6003 | Last Modified 2007-05-31I met a strange man a few nights ago in a downtown bar - strange mainly because he seemed to be wearing home-made clothes and make-up. During the course of our chit-chat conversation I happened to ask him what he did for a living. 'I grow grass.' He said.
Hits 2822 | Last Modified 2007-05-31Written on my 31st birthday, I just found this article and thought I'd publish it again. It charts my life, year by year...
Article Unfinished screenplay
Hits 2955 | Last Modified 2007-05-31Untitled, Unfinished screenplay written about a year ago.
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