Stately home, I'm back from my travels with a rather large black leopard. I eye the wild snarling beast warily, it loves me. I think. Where did I get it? I stroke its jaw and it rubs against me. We're on the lawn in the sunshine and I've got the leopard chained up (on a long chain, I'm not cruel), and, oh, we seem to have guests arriving. They bring their cute floppy brown dog with them, it approaches the leopard, wagging its tail. The leopard crouches tensely. 'Is your cat okay with dogs?' they ask. 'Sure,' I say, 'Well, I think so.'