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The couple look nervous. I'm forcibly taking them on a real-life House of the Dead tour - there really are zombies in the house and you shoot them with real guns. We're in the staging room and there's no booze and they look anxious. 'Look,' I say, 'I have to go and get something, you stay here, don't try to leave!' I'd noticed a few moments ago that there were no batteries in my gun, rendering it useless. I run downstairs and into the battery room, as I grab a pack I hear footsteps running down the stairs, one of them has escaped. Ah well, I'll just go with one, I think.

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