Hits 2702 | Created 1996-01-01 | Modified 2007-05-24
More journal extracts from 1996. Still in India at the time.
1st January 1996
Got totally lost on the way to the party spent a good hour in the jungle with other lost people. 12 O'clock rolled by and we were still in the jungle. Ah well. Found the place in the end.
Excellent sound system, no light show, chi stalls etc. Big crowd, but not too large. The man who built the universe and all the day trippers from the other day were there too.
Took my first pill, but it was a dud! I was pretty gutted, so I took a purple dot instead.
Pretty blasted at the middle and end.
Sat with the strange Nordic on the bus, west coast, tie-dye, Day-Glo, self-obsessed people. Pink glasses, the guy who took the most extreme chillum I have ever seen - these people take their chillums FAR too seriously for my liking... On the bus? On the band wagon more like.
Dawn was excellent and we danced into the early morning, finally drawn back for breakfast.
Now jaded. Going for food, and sawing up coconuts.
4th January 1996
Oops. A few days missed out. We had a trip to Panaji to check mail and buy a big watermelon, and yesterday we hired a Honda Kinetic DX scooter for the day and toured some of North Goa - some beaches.
Went to Chapora to find Brian and Jake, but bummed out, although Chapora was nice - good milkshakes at a place called Scarlet.
Went to the market at Anjuna, and the Shore Bar bash a the night time. Spent most of the day on the Honda, most roads are better than we thought. Riding the scooter gave me such a taste for a big bike - Natural!
Emerald green paddy fields, mist covered jungle, and the roaring power of the DX...
Rode back with Brendon and Jeanene - Aj drives too fast for my liking (unsafe?).
Today has been a slow day. Swimming and reading mainly. I even wrote a poem today:
I wish I had a frisbee,
How happy I would be.
Now the frisbee's out of reach,
Stuck in a tree.
The reggae bar tonight for Jeanene's birthday bash (ho ho), so I may have a beer or two. Big waves today.
Aj is being bitten to death by fleas, but they aren't touching me... ah well.
We ate the watermelon today, and I took some beach photos. Maybe move rooms tomorrow.
5th January 1996
Moved rooms. Now Rs.50 a night, plus a window...
Brendon and Jen have gone to Bombay. Last night was her 'Birthday bash', bust she had 2 beers and crashed - wouldn't even have a cocktail I offered.
Ah well. Bye bye.
Spent the day swallowing sea water, and sanding down coconuts.
About to go and eat.
There is a party tonight, for the full moon, but it is Anjuna and I'm not up for it. We'll see how keen Aj is after tea...
Finished 'World according to Garp'. Bookless now.
Maybe we won't go to the Andaman Islands now...
Did a henna tattoo on my arm today but it's faded - maybe missing an egg. Aj henna'd her heair (heair? Hair you fool).
6th January 1996
Aj and I spent a 'day alone', apart from bumping into each other at cafe's all day. I spent it reading 'N or M?' by Agatha Christie, and wandering about in the sun, and eating of course.
Spent the evening drinking beer and chatting with Aj about religion, mysticism and books, mainly.
Most of the late evening in the Jah Kingdom bar, which is the reggae bar II down the beach (run by the same guys).
The proprietor of Reggae Bar I just offered me a spliff on the way back! Nice chap.
I left Aj at the Jah Kingdom, as she wanted to stay 'alone' for a while.
I'm dazed, tired and wondering if I can focus on N or M? enough to read a while (an exciting bit in the plot).
Had a shave and beard trim today - excellent.
7th January 1996
Arambol, Goa. Sunday! 10.30pm. (Bedtime for Bonzo)
Spent the day chasing crabs around rock pools and eating, mainly. Crashing early (just for a change). Wrote some postcards. Finished N or M? Which was quite good really. Started Tom Robbins' 'Another Roadside Attraction', which may or may not be good...
Tonight I ate Haka Noodles and bread, Aj had Aloo Palak and rice with chaptis. For dessert I had some Nestle (boo!) chocolate. Breakfast today was 1/2 a watermelon and veg, cheese and egg toasted roll, and coffee (Nescafe). My snack today was coffee and a cheese, tomato, onion and garlic sandwich, and a pack of coconut biscuits. Oh, and a Kingfisher beer thrown in too.
Good job I'm cutting down on my food eh?!
We had tea at the Sea Horse tonight. (Yawn!)
(Get a life)
Apathy factor = 100%
[Just seen a rat run over our heads]
9th January 1996
Arambol, Goa. 10.30pm. (Bedtime again). Tuesday.
Spent yesterday at the Banyan tree with a Kiwi called Kerry, who's been crashing in our room too. The Banyan tree is pretty, small altar built into the base, no shoes, etc, and too many tourists there. Still, nice monkeys, (big)spiders, and birds around. You follow a river-bed from the beach up to it.
Spent a late night at the Jah Kingdom, drinking mainly.
Today I visited 7 restaurants, eating in 4 of them.
Aj and Kerry did the mud bath thing, being a little thoughtless, without me. Small anger at this! WOW, found some hash in the Culture Bar, which I took as a message for the day.
Ate, drank, and played in the bio-luminescence of the sea, which was exceptional tonight. Also saw long, flappy things in the shoreline. [Diagram of a flapping thing]
Just had pancakes, now I'm going to sleep. Anjuna by boat tomorrow... (maybe???)
10th January 1996
Arambol, Goa. Wednesday. Midnight.
Fun packed day. We were going to hire a scooter for the day to change money, and go to Anjuna market, but the scooter packed up on the first hill, so we thought, fuck it, and hired a Yamaha motorbike instead.
Learned to ride as we made our way to Anjuna! Easy eh? All this mystical motorbike difficulty lark, by the end of the day I was enjoying myself no end (and, as Chez would say, 'almost flying!')
We both got a bit ill during the day. Aj followed through, and I felt well dodgy, but it seems quite short lived...
We chilled out in Chapora, and Anjuna most of the day. Chilled out at the Shore Bar with Kerry in the evening, and the drove back, the bike almost ran out of gas, and was playing up, and the lights kept on cutting out...
But, made it back, after going back and giving some guy a hitch. And had a beer in the Reggae Bar. Haven't eaten, but I'm tired as hell.
Resolved to ride bikes now... Oh yes.
11th January 1996
Arambol, Goa. 8.10pm.
Today was a negative, no action day.
Did nothing except look at the dead sea-life washed up on the shore, and rescue what we could, from some kind of sea-land disaster that seems to have occurred. Quite depressing really.
Swam and washed in the Lake, ate and drank - dinner at the Sea Breeze - not bad food (veg fried rice). Yet to eat pudding and have a beer.
Today we had an encounter with a leery, lairy Bombay tourist who would not leave some topless sun worshipper alone - I volunteered my help and told him to push off a couple of times, then spent a good hour staring at him, meanly. He wouldn't leave and I wondered if he was going to attack me, but didn't in the end. I felt my blood flow and developed some anger, just because it's a novelty for me to do so. The guy even tried to follow her back to her room, but she went mad and he ran away in the end. He stood about three feet from her, staring at her breasts. Unreal behaviour.
Aj had a negative day, I'm still in Neutral.
14th January 1996
Unknown date. Arambol, Goa.
Done little. Enquired about weekly motorbike hire, written some letters, and drunk too much beer.
Yesterday I went to explore past the End of the World restaurant, and walked for four hours, there and back. There are rivers you have to ford, coconut plantations, and another beach resort eventually (Morjem(sp?)). Collected bits and bobs (all useful) from the beach.
Last night was spent drinking beer and smoking with a guy called Monkey and the boys in the Reggae bar. Played 'Pass the Pigs' too.
Drank too much.
Just found it's the 14th today (maybe). Kerry is still around, following half-heartedly an Israeli guy she likes. We went to a beach fire the other night with them all. Lots of Hebrew songs under the stars. Unusual.
Aj picked up some German guy last night, and had him under the stars on the beach. So much for her celibacy drive, but, ah, some things are not meant to be. It's made me wonder about my own celibacy drive too. Once sex is in the air it twists everyone around a little. Maybe I will be strong and maybe I will have little choice...
Forgiveness of all, and live in love, should be my motto of the hour.
Supposed to spend today having a trip to a nice beach, but we shall see how things progress...
15th January 1996
Halfway through January, just about. Last night was spent in the Reggae bar, drinking again. Met some more people who seemed good. Chatted to the owners, who are all from the Sudan, ex-students and pals. One is leaving today for Pune and a Computer Science course! From Goan Reggae Rasta Beach Bar to 9 to 5 office computer job. Backward step?
Aj went to a late night Israeli campfire, but I came back to suffer a bout of insomnia until 4.30am.
Finished 'Another Roadside Attraction', and have begun 'The Art of Dreaming' by Carlos Casteneda, which is a story of lucid dreamers and astral projection type activities. Sure to stimulate a good dream program for me.
Just met Aj's German friend at breakfast. He seems okay, although seems to have the passion and enthusiasm I have these days (very little). Maybe I am wrong.
We're supposed to do that trip up the beach today, but Aj is a little ache-ridden, so we'll see.
Didn't go anywhere in the end. Aj was too tired and went off to see her German man, turned up later to say that she wasn't going for tea with me now, but for a smoke with him...
Haven't seen her since then.
I spent the night and day reading The Art of... And just finished it (11pm). So I've nothing much to do. Talked to Fritz and another German guy, but the company is getting me down, so I had to escape back to base.
Our room is 'off limits' for frolicks, so at least I can chill out in peace here.
The day trip is scheduled for tomorrow now, but, again, we'll see eh? If it doesn't come off, I'm going to hire a Yamaha and go adventuring, rather than wandering the beach and bars, vaguely bored and compelled to stay [Thoughtful narrative follows]
Everytime I go out to meet someone new, I meet Fritz: There are some strange, and difficult to fathom lessons going on, here in Arambol, I'm sure it will become clear in time though.
I have a feeling I know what is behind my state of mind now -- Ever been in a situation where you don't want to be, and you cannot leave? I'm just going to have to adapt to the situation at hand. This is not a new realisation, I know. But searching for easier answers is always appealing eh?
I sometimes wonder if Aj reads my diary secretly when I'm not about? The nearest I get to secretly reading hers is peeking over her shoulder as she write sometimes.
Secrets in books? I wonder.
Well, I have my dreaming head on now after The Art of... (Prepare for the second attention...)
Note: Must leave Arambol soon...
[Beer is not good for dreaming]
17th January 1996
'Death of a seagull'
Spent yesterday having trip up the beach with Aj. Mild, but absorbing. Pleasant day. Buried Aj in the sand, swam naked in the sea, and stretched my body as much as I could. Felt good then, feels bad now, but that can be explained another way too...
Watched the sunset, sensed that Aj wanted to get back to find her German man. Ah well.
We found a seagull in the surf on the way back, looking dazed and confused. Probably been tossed about in the waves a bit. It came round a bit, but seemed to have broken its legs, or forgotten how to use them.
Found a safe place out of the reach of dogs, and left him for the night (it was too dark to fly anyway...)
Came back today, but too late. The seagull was dead.
It had cleaned itself up and looked perfect, but had died, probably from shock (or, I suspect, guiltily, dehydration).
Buried him with the bread I brought for him.
Also found a dead walrus-like creature on the beach - huge, and slowly being devoured by frantic maggots. I am being forced to think of death today. Why?
Spent last night in the Reggae bar, riding the wave with alcohol, well, Old Monk XXX rum anyway, and smoking with Fritz, another German. I like Fritz now. Language barriers only exist when you're not sync'd in.
Aj returned later, frustrated because Halcal and his friends were as drunk as I was becoming, and she could get little sense from them.
'No entertainment value', as she would have said.
I stayed until Fritz dropped out in a daze, then joined a group of Belgians and Italians.
Was versed in the 'language' of Antwerp, which I was assured was like cockney (to a degree)... Discussed what Boom Shankar means (nobody seems to know) and suffered the agony of the bill.
Was told that the reggae bar was mine, as it was theirs, by the staff, the nice guys with the big smiles from the Sudan.
Got in later than Aj for once.
Going to get a Pepsi now - blood sugar levels and all that. Missed market day, as we slept until 12. Not worth getting a bike, so its another non-day in Arambol for me, myself, and I.